Now that’s a good question! Was Tina Turner right? Is it really a second-hand emotion? … Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?
Every language has numerous words that are translated as love. They range from the erotic to the platonic to the altruistic to the emotional and the unconditional.
In English, we say we love blueberry pie or love to swim. The tennis score was 5-love. We often use that word when we really mean lust, infatuation, desperation, affection or some type of smothering behaviour. Love means different things to different people.
We can be led astray by our ‘heart’. With my clients, we often talk about head and heart and how they can become disconnected from each other. When it comes to love, we can make decisions only with our head (he’s rich, we’d make beautiful children). Or we can make decisions solely on our heart (all we need is love, it doesn’t matter that my friends and family don’t like him). This often leads to a mutually exclusive response such as: No one else understands her, except me. I know I shouldn’t but … And the clincher … falling for someone based on their potential, rather than the present reality.
When this happens, we ignore either head or heart, often at our own peril. When we’re able to listen closely to our head and heart, taking both into consideration, we’re able to sleep at night.
We were created with body, mind and spirit for a reason. As we integrate all three, we’re able to make the best decisions for us, particularly when it comes to relationships, and this gives us a sense of peace.
If you’re struggling in this area, NorthStar Counselling Services is here to help you find your way.